the funny stuff i find

I always find the funniest stuff online. Example.

-Escaping Your Past

Your past is a haunted place full of people, experiences, and secret government tests you’d rather forget. Follow these steps to clear your mind and your record:
• Cut ties with your family, friends, and anyone who has a copy of your dental records.
• Fake your own death using whichever method your father taught you when you were a kid.
• Secretly attend your own funeral. Write something self-deprecating in the memorial book so that no one suspects that you’re still alive and attending your own funeral.
• Change your name to be the same as your favorite celebrity. The fun of having a celebrity name will take your mind off of the all the crying you did when you found out you were dead.
• Help yourself forget about all that stuff by filling your brain with the names of as many different horse breeds and horse facts as you can remember.
• Congratulations! You’re ready to restart your life as “Freddie Prinze Jr., Celebrity Horse Trainer”.

Don't stop

it is a lot easier to give up, than to keep going when it hurts.
it is a lot easier to just say "I'll stop here", then to push further
it is a lot easier to go to sleep, than it is to wake up early and do something for yourself
it is a lot easier to let someone else do the work for you, than to go and kill that job
it is a lot easier to say these words, than to actually go out there and apply them EVERY SINGLE DAY
so for all those people who choose to take the easy way, I hope you are truly happy with yourself. If you are, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you feel like you can do more, push harder, reach your full potential, then I have just one more thing to say. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

LOS ANGELES, CA

well let us see, where to begin? Los Angeles I guess. hmmm, I went there yesterday. With a very special person. And not in the regular sense of romantic "special" so stop your ideas before you begin with them. I went with my soon to be roommate, to check out my school, a job fair, the Santa Monica Promenade, and our hopefully future home! It was quite a long and tiring day, had a super early start with only 3 hours of sleep, but it was great! We did a lot, and the time went by so quick when we were heading home already. The school looks so cool, part of it's building are old, and the other part are brand new, modern ones. I also checked out their field, and just pictured myself down there, playing, hopefully. I really liked it. The beach is a little off, I believe approximately 2miles from the school, and the pier and Promenade a little further down. Venice, which is a place that I love, is to the other side, but also extremely close. We took a couple of moments at various points of our trip, to just sit/stand there and think about what was happening. We were really there. That will soon be our home. All the talks, all the imaginings, the day dreaming, the dreams, everything was turning into our reality. It is extremely scary, I'm not going to lie. Our whole world is going to be different. No more parents direct support. No more relying on anyone but ourselves. No more buying whatever we want without thorough thinking about our budget. No fancy house, bed, food. None of that. Whenever something is wrong, there won't be anyone there but us. And even for a little bit, we felt homesick already. To add to it all, we were stuck in traffic for about 3 hours all together that day. But honestly, I truly believe that the pros, far outweigh the cons of this move. We will suffer, but that will only make our life feel that much sweeter when we make it, and show everyone that we are NOT like most people. We don't want what most people want. And we will NEVER settle for less than what we are aiming for. We will not stop until we get there. Huge sacrifices will be made, massive amount of sweat will be dropped, and so many uncomfortable situations we will be thrown into. But it will all lead to our great success. This hunger, it is taking over everything. Nothing in the world is starting to matter, but making this a reality, for ourselves and everyone in our future. People may doubt, but it is okay. It is our job to prove those people wrong, and make OUR dreams come true. Me and my roommate share a lot of views in common, and I believe that will be the key to this working out. Soon, I shall finally purchase that camera, and my life in Los Angeles will be more alive, with more color. And I promise I will make your time worth while. Because as always, I can not thank you enough for taking some time out of your life to read this. Thank You. But for now, we are still here in our present location, and we shall keep working hard to get to our home..And we will not stop until we get there. I hope you have a great and safe weekend. Don't do anything too crazy that can jeopardize your dreams. Don't forget to always Live Life Happy. Peace and One Love.

the weeknd with the family.

It has been an extremely busy past week but I really have been enjoying all the stuff I am doing. I can honestly say I am pretty tired and the weekend is just about to begin yet again. Over the long memorial day weekend, we had a family gathering. On Saturday, it was my niece's 15nera. I can go on and on about it, but I will keep it simple. It was great! No drama, no unwanted 15nera crashers, and everyone getting back home safe and sound. The party itself was really good. The hall was not huge, but I felt it was a really good size for our family and friends who joined us. Everyone seemed to have had a good time, and the most important person of the night did as well so we can officially say it was a Success :) The next day, everyone went over to my aunts house, where the 15nera lives as well, and we had a family day again, this time with a few friends that went again. I know I have always said family is a very important aspect of life, but it wasn't until recently that our family got close again. For a few years, literally the only time we would see them was during holidays and special occasions. It made me sad but I couldn't really do much about it. But that has changed and I absolutely love it. I am the oldest out of the cousins that live here, but every time I am around the kids, it is such a great time. Laughing, making fun of everyone, playing, fighting, a bit of everything. I am really glad we got close again, and have many memories to always remember. That night, everyone came over to my house and we had a massive sleepover in our living room, 8 kids spread across air mattresses, pull out couch, the couch, and my mattress. It was quite interesting to say the least. I knew it was going to be a great and funny night when we got home and realized that we had forgotten one of my cousins at his house! lmao. Monday was a non work day, and yet again, everyone came over. We had a family bbq, and another great day. That was when I thought for a while about my family. We are not the most closest family, but I am so extremely glad to say we are a really good family. I hear so many stories of friends and other people who talk about their family and how horrible some members might be. Backstabbing, stealing, talking shit about each other. But thankfully, none of that has happened in ours and I really hope it doesn't ever begin. We have many years of happiness left, and I am excited to see what new stuff we get into in the future. I have a feeling we will all be successful and share many crazy adventures that many people might not have a chance to. But that doesn't mean we will not stay grounded. I hope I can begin going to volunteer in helping feed the homeless with my family soon, I believe it will be an amazing experience! So this shall be my entry for last weekend. It was great to say the least, and I am glad it came out the way it did. I love my family, and I am loving life. Have a great and safe day! Live Life Happy. Peace and One Love.